I had been dreaming about my wedding day since I was about six years old and went to the wedding of a woman my parents knew. When James and I decided to get married in October of 1992, it came about because the venue that I was looking at didn’t have the date I wanted available. I was looking for a date where we could get married in six months or so in a small ceremony and then plan the big wedding on our one year anniversary because that way we wouldn’t have to worry about which date was the “true” wedding. I think I was originally thinking of Labor Day weekend, but it was already past Labor Day when we got engaged and I didn’t want to wait two years for the big wedding. So I wasn’t sure exactly what was going to work. We didn’t intend to get married so soon after we got engaged, but sometimes things just happen that way.
There is a place in Connecticut called the Aqua Turf Club that I’d heard was THE place to go for weddings. I don’t often put a lot of importance on things like that so I was waiting for them to impress me. When I visited I knew right then that it was the place I wanted to have my wedding. It is incredible. http://www.aquaturfclub.com We could have the marriage ceremony in their little “Chapel in the Pines” and because we were already legally married I could have a friend and former co-worker perform the ceremony even though he would be out of his jurisdiction. The Aqua Turf was like all of my dreams rolled into one. The Chapel, a beautiful windmill near a little bridge over a brook where we could take pictures, 4 different huge ballrooms to choose from, and catering that was incredible (3 different choices of meal and a five hour open bar for $35/person). When I met with the wedding planner there they were booked far in advance. I was looking for a holiday weekend if I could get it because I wanted family from out of town to be able to attend. Then they told me that Columbus Day weekend was available the next year. It worked out perfectly. October 10th fell on a Saturday in 1992, and a Sunday in 1993. If we got married on the 10th in 1992 we could do our big wedding on our one year anniversary in 1993 and a lot of people would still have the next day off for the holiday. When I broached the plan to James he was a bit hesitant because it was so close. But we figured that no family would be coming to this wedding. We would just have a few close friends and save the big family get together for the following year. So, suddenly, we were getting married a few weeks after we’d gotten engaged.
I found a wedding dress at a consignment shop and asked the people at the airport restaurant if they would let us have our wedding ceremony there since that’s where we’d really had our first date. My best friend Robin came down to be my witness and James had a good friend, also named Robin, who stood up for him. The people in the airport restaurant were probably a little bemused to see an entire wedding ceremony before their eyes, but everyone got into the spirit of it. Then a large group of us went out for dinner at a nice restaurant. And voila, I was married.
Because we were now legally married we qualified for a much nicer apartment through the Coast Guard and we quickly moved into there. For the most part we did fine, although I came to understand why they say people who get married for the first time when they’re over 30 have issues in the marriage. Both of us were pretty used to doing things a certain way and sometimes the adjustment was difficult. But we went out to karaoke a lot and made a lot of friends through that. I was also having a great time planning the big wedding.
I did lots and lots of research. I think I had a three foot tall stack of wedding magazines. My Dad thought I was crazy to have a big wedding when we were already married and suggested that I save the money for a house. But I told him the same thing that I’d told James. I’d been dreaming of this wedding since I was six and I was going to have it. So Dad gave me a nice contribution toward the wedding, but basically said we were on our own for anything above that cost. I was thirty-two. I didn’t expect my parents to pay for my wedding, but I was grateful for the gift. So, even though the reception was going to be pretty expensive I wanted to save money any way I could. I couldn’t find any dresses that were just what I wanted. I liked the skirt, but hated the bodice or vice versa. So finally I found a seamstress and brought her my ideas of what I wanted and she said she could do it. She told me how much fabric she would need and I went out shopping. My grandmother found some tulle that had been left over from my mother’s veil, and some satin left over from her dress. The satin was incorporated into the garter that I kept, and the tulle was incorporated into the hat I wore. I had so much fun shopping for fabric and the lace I wanted.
I told the seamstress that I would be losing weight because I wanted to be a slim bride. I had gained some weight and I knew I had to start back on the Optifast program to take it off. They have a tune-up program for just that situation where you have gained a bit of weight back but you want to catch it before it becomes too much. The seamstress just smiled and nodded and I’m sure she thought that I would never do it because a lot of women want to lose weight for their wedding and never do. But she didn’t know me when I’m on a mission. I joined Optifast the next week and immediately began taking off the weight I’d put on. I can’t remember exactly how much it was, but I think it was over 40 pounds. My best friend Robin also went on a similar program because she wanted to be thin for the wedding as well as she was my “Best Woman.” (Neither of us liked Matron of Honor).
I was pretty successful taking the weight off again, but anyone who has been on the same diet more than once can tell you, it is harder the second time. The first time you learn the tricks and cheats that you can do and still keep losing weight. But the second time you are tempted to incorporate those tricks and cheats right from the start and it makes it harder to stick to it. But I was determined, and when I went in for my final fitting of the gown, the seamstress was a bit freaked out because I’d lost so much weight. She was able to adjust the bodice to fit pretty snugly, but the skirt was a bit poofy where it met the bodice. I still loved the dress. It was my own design and unique. Unfortunately, the fact that I wanted a long train (it ended up being about 15 feet long-maybe I watched the Sound of Music wedding scene one too many times), meant that it couldn’t be bustled, so I had to carry the train over my arm all night long. And let me tell you, sixty square feet of satin gets awfully heavy after a while.
But the wedding was everything I’d dreamed of. I had invited over 200 people and about a third of them were cops I used to work with. Well over 100 people came. The food and the presentation was incredible. The prime rib hung over the sides of the plate and then they came around and offered seconds. We had a Venetian dessert table that had every different kind of tart and chocolate dipped fruit imaginable and a chocolate chip carrot cake wedding cake. The booze was flowing freely and the wedding band we’d hired had people dancing all night. Everyone was talking about it, and I got cards from several people thanking me for inviting them because they said it was the best wedding they’d ever been to. I was slim again, and feeling pretty good that I’d slimmed down before my weight had ballooned too far out of control. It was more proof to me that I was in control of my weight for life. And I was heading out on a two week honeymoon, a week in Aruba followed by a week long cruise around the Caribbean. I mean, so what if cruises are just an excuse to eat non-stop and I no longer had a reason to diet since the wedding was over. I was in control…